Monthly Archives: May 2012

Curmedgeony

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I sound cranky lately

I’m not

You guys just don’t see the posts I write every day about my struggles and success here

I have to keep those private for now, until this battle is over

I don’t need my words to be twisted

I need to keep my wits about me

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You may have beat my body

but you did not win the fight

You may have made me feel small

but I realize now that small people do big things

You may feel like you did nothing wrong

but I’m not the one that hides their past

You may feel relief now, when you look in the mirror

but even I don’t hate you the way you hate yourself

You may have taken away the joy of Miss H’s first few months

but I’ve had the joy of the last 10 years to make up for that

You may have tried to break me down during my pregnancy with Miss D

but I build myself up each night when I tuck her in, safe and sound

You didn’t chase me away

I left you behind, pathetic and angry

You might think you can beat me

but your hate and violence took away your humanity. Not mine.

He cried and said he was sorry, he lost his temper

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Watching Glee

I don’t normally connect with shows about domestic violence

same holds true for one of my favourite shows

until she said he hit her, he cried, he’s not a bad guy

that’s how it happens you know

one day, he just snapped

one day, I didn’t even see it coming

hindsight, I see the signs

but there in the thick, I was blind

He cried, every time, he cried

he was screwed up because of <insert explanation/excuse here>

 

I never saw it coming, until it was too late to stop it