Monthly Archives: January 2012

Abuse by judicial process


The court drama continues next Friday.

I am at a point where I am getting frustrated about being asked to do things that are contrary to my strong opinion that my ex still poses a danger to my children and to my family.

I realized this morning that I have been apologizing a lot for being difficult, but I don’t actually feel like I am. My opinion on this matter has been consistent since the very beginning. There have been no changes in my stance, there will continue to be no change in my stance. I’m being no more ‘difficult’ than my ex¬† and exlawyer have been about their stance.

Providing a forced consent would be against my consent anyway, trying to force my hand and bully me into doing things I don’t want to do ends now.

Once we start sacrificing bits and pieces of our core beliefs and opinions, all of our opinions and beliefs become worthless. I am tired of being abused and bullied by my ex-husband and exlawyer, I have survived the worst types of abuse and humiliations at the hands of ex, I have rolled over enough. I will not consent to my children being available for the same thing.


no news.. is news


still no news on the baby front, but then again i’m still in the big wait

sono is booked for next thursday

so is B’s testing

looking more and more like i’ll be really throwing myself into exercise and diet for the next 5 months

i’m okay with that, honestly, i did not really expect to get pregnant this cycle

with the madness of holidays, new years, B’s birthday we only really had two nights where conception was even a possibility

plus court dates, lawyer meetings

on the legal front, nothing has changed in the year since this all started

i still have sole custody (as i have had for 7 years)

he still have no access

i still have a heavy duty restraining order (which, i should point out, he violates but not in a ‘show up in your hedges/peek in your windows/knock on your door/call your house’ way… hard to explain)


it’s a weird time

weird, weird time


The things no one tells you about diet and exercise and getting pregnant


First, diet is key to staying healthy and fit.

We all know that, though most of us take advantage of that in our ‘younger’ days

Did you know it’s not just important for getting pregnant (especially in your 30s!) it can be the difference between getting pregnant and being infertile?

Seriously, be deficient in something like B and you’re body starts slowing down it’s progesterone factory. Same for Zinc.

Progesterone is critical during the weeks following conception, everyone focuses on the folic acid for the fetus, people forget that progesterone is critical for the uterus, the uterine lining and for keeping that little bundle of cells alive before it starts growing a spine (pun intended)

Exercise, also key player in the progesterone game.

Sure, people get pregnant without either of these things in their lives, but more often than not those pregnancies end in loss.

On a personal note, we still have no idea what’s going on here. We have looked at all of my fertility charts and something hit us last week. I’m not ovulating until somewhere around day 18-20. This is a short luteal¬† phase and likely wouldn’t be able to result in pregnancy despite all of our efforts.

This is not a difficult problem to fix

So, on top of the diet and exercise between now and June, I will also be seeing Dr. W more frequently to do a lot of acupuncture and other treatments to help regulate that cycle back out.

We have a sono-hystogram booked for next week, along with some other tests for both of us.

Court again next Friday, not looking forward to it. I get a little anxious the days before court, not much I can do about that. So far we’ve had exactly no changes in any of this despite our frequent visits to the judge(s).

come and go, came and went


Court date came and went with so much as a change

a waste of time actually

you see, when you present a motion to the court, you have to have this crazy thing called evidence

I suspect the next date will come and go with similar results


Bought an over the counter ovulation predictor. First Response to be specific

turns out my temp timing and charting has been right all along

this is our last cycle to try at home before May, I’ll know by next week if we’ll have a 2012 baby, though I have my doubts at this point

talked to the fertility clinic today

appointments coming out the yin yang over the next 2 weeks, super fun

gym is going to consist of a lot of low impact everything – that sucks

knee feels better but waiting on MRI in 6 weeks, surgery possible for May

surgical date pushes back pregnancy try another month or two beyond the date we expected to start trying

and of course, God only knows when the court nonsense will conclude.