Monthly Archives: December 2011

We have a plan


we have a plan in place

a plan for eating healthy

a plan for our new dishwasher (installation going on a week’s time now)

a plan for Christmas with each of our extended families

a plan for new paint in the girls’ room

a plan for the playroom

a plan for the 2 week work break

a plan for the basement

a plan for a bigger home sooner rather than later

a plan for a new car

a plan for a 2012 vacation or two

a plan for tonight

a plan to visit

a plan for New Year’s Eve

a plan for a New Year’s fresh start


all terribly vague, but I can try to elaborate over the next two weeks

our healthy eating, we’ve fallen off track, more take out than we should

goal again, as we’ve had in the past, no take out for 6 whole months – including starbucks and including anything from Tim Horton’s that isn’t coffee

writing all of the food choices down ahead of time, making sure we’re shopping for all of those plans

cutting out wheat now, completely, means preparing food for our family for visiting functions, but it’s whole grains, proper grains for us, Miss D still can’t easily stomach the baked goods and wheaty products

more fresh veg for the kids… who eat fresh fruit without complaint and certain veg with gusto

snacks for husband B, who forgets to eat. forgetting to eat is never great

kids are at a sleepover tonight, husband B is going backstage with The Headstones tonight, I’m visiting with a friend while he goes to do that

picking up my grandmother tomorrow morning for Christmas festivities

little worried about that, she’s slipping and we all see it but she doesn’t

trying not to be angry about that

grateful for friends and family



Another day 1

Another day 1

Another month and another day 1.

Getting angry and frustrated about this process

thinking we’re going to have to go the IUI route

this sucks

we have one more cycle to try in before we have 3 months where trying is not possible

what happens if IUI doesn’t work?

I’m not willing to inject myself with all kinds of crazy hormones or hedge my bets with IVF

the MS makes everything so complicated

sister in law is pregnant

first try

big shock

We don’t wish they weren’t, it’s just hard not to resent someone who just decides to get pregnant one day and just… does

Realistically I was that person 8/9 years ago with the girls, it happens easily for some. We’re just not those people apparently.

Committed to some prenatal actions right now, back to the gym, back to the strict diet. Cutting 20 lbs off my frame (to start) by end of January.

If we have to take a 3 month breaking in trying, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that 3 months go to waste. Big physical changes will come that month for sure

Hating this all, hating being so fucking emotional every month

doesn’t help that the obvious signs of ‘not pregnant’ slam you right when the hormones from menstrual cycle hit also


i hate this waiting game



I devour books on homeschooling and autism lately.

I’ve also been devouring starbucks again. I should stop that (the latte, not the books)

Saw fertility clinic today, had a surprise vaginal exam (wheeeeeeee).

Will have follow up in 2 months. Would be lovely if I was pregnant by then, but who knows.

Weight loss…. woefully stalled, fixing that immediately.

On to our evening.

Miss H was called ‘higher functioning than high functioning autism, she has aspergers’ tonight. By a spec ed teacher. I don’t think people understand that having aspergers means you simply have a very high functioning form of autism. Miss H has been temporarily been dxd as ‘pervasive development disorder’ and will see a specialist shortly.

I was also informed (by this well meaning friend of my mother) that she was really well socialized , we were doing such a great job and I should put her in school right away.

Full stop.

Whiskey. Tango Foxtrot.

So… she’s well socialized, happy, bright, learning and coping well but I should immediately put her into the public school system? Why exactly? She is the way she is BECAUSE she is homeschooled, not in spite of it. She is happy and socialized and capable because we have raised her to be this way, not to doubt herself, to have confidence in her own abilities and to ask for help when she struggles.

I spent the balance of the evening listening to stories of how other teachers are teaching so poorly. How the school is screwing up this student and that student.

Imagine that.