Monthly Archives: November 2011

A surprise

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Dear ex,

I have a surprise for you. You’ll never guess what it is.

H

 

p.s. your lawyer should stop complaining to me about the inconvenience of the drive from London. She’s paid to do her job, her problem, your problem, but certainly not mine.

 

The Two Week Wait

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Every month.

For the past few months.

We play a game called the two week wait.

For the first few days of the two week wait, we keep on keepin’ on. In the hopes or understanding the possibility that I could ovulate later than the standard 14 day assumption.

I keep taking my basal body temps every morning, bright and early.

I’m 8 days dpo right now, according to fertility calendar, but who knows. I could be anwhere from 6 days to 18 days. It’s a tricky science.

It’s discouraging. Last month I had a few days of faint positive. Then nothing. Then 5 days late I started bleeding. My beta blood tests showed at chemical pregnancy. A loss at less than 5 weeks.

I’m okay. We’re okay. It’s just frustrating. There are energy issues for Bill, having sex every day for an extended period of time just isn’t possible. There are weight issues for me, I’m still working on that, I’d like to get down at least another 20lbs before January 1.

Then there’s the 4 month gap where we have to take a break between January and April because of a trip that is planned for the fall. Can’t risk travelling around a due date or when travellers insurance won’t cover a pregnancy. That’s frustrating and puts a little pressure on us in December.

Please don’t tell me it will happen when it happens… or if it’s meant to be it will happen. Those are the words of someone who has never spent a longer period of time conceiving.

Those are the words of someone who doesn’t get it.

 

A new year

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Here is everything… in a nutshell

 

still looking at new blog names

still working towards end goal of 145 lbs

still considering babies (as in, should we have another)

still fighting with the ex in court for the safety and security of my daughters

still homeschooling

still battling the evil forces of MS

still working hard

 

I’m frustrated right now. My scale has died, I need new batteries, but I’m certain I’ve regained some weight. My one pair of pants is a little uncomfortable, so I’m judging at least a 3-4 lb gain.

I’m tired. A lot. I’m not sure why, other than vitamin deficiencies, I can’t think of any other reason that fits. Seasonal change? Maybe. Stress from the ex? Possible.

Getting ready for Christmas, more specifically, shopping for Christmas. Planning something extra special for B (who is no longer fiance B, he is now husband B). Kids are getting a new desktop computer to share. It will live in the main floor area of our home. I’m still nervous about internet security and children surfing without supervision. This was only further fueled by a youtube video I watched earlier this week, involving a child I know.

Oh.

And Miss H is being referred to a pediatric specialist. She has autism.I kind of already suspected this, but I hoped it was behaviour related to her lack of sleep and apnea.

So, we’ve been busy.