I made it to meet with the personal trainer this morning. After a series of miscommunications regarding Monday (none of them on my part, I was clear about what I needed) I met up with the group this morning.
Either I didn’t push myself hard enough, or I’m in better shape than I thought. Either way, I need to push harder tomorrow.
Cleanse is…. going. Not all the way there yet, there’s a major shopping trip in my future (i.e. tonight) so that I can pick up some whole grains, beans, lentils, etc to replace the meat based proteins in my current diet.
My house…. arg. I’ve decided that between now and the wedding I am tackling one room per week. This includes (but is not limited to) cleaning out cupboards, thinking long and hard about the use of any particular item in the room and downsizing more of our stuff. We’re typically tidy, but definitely cluttered.
Wedding… everything on my ‘to by June 30’ is now ta-dun. Starting July list a little early, but that’s okay, there’s a lot of stuff that needs to be done in July. Most of that stuff involves gluing, sewing and cutting. We are very DIY friendly in this house, rather spend our time than our money.
so, I waited
but the new personal trainer did not show this morning. arg! I’m hitting the bike tonight and the gym in the am, been in contact with the company and I’m meeting up with someone else on Wednesday.
so it’s 5:54 am here and I’m just typing a quick note
been up since 4:45, got up, got a power smoothie into me:
- 1/2 cup frozen mango
- scoop non-dairy protein powder
- 1/2 banana
- 2 cps kale
- peeled and chopped apple
the problem with meeting the trainer at 6:30 is that i need to have finished my smoothie a full hour before I go work out, otherwise I’m likely to vomit during a hard work out
anyway, i’m off, a little tired, but off
I have had a lot of running around
met with the wonderful Dr. W to work out my cleanse plan for the next while
worked out days 1-3 on paper
tracked 95% of my eating
ate a mars bar. damn that was tasty…. but it won’t be happening again
was harshly reminded why chinese food is a bad plan, even if it is in moderation. ew.
scored a lot of wedding decor because i made a trip out to the venue on thursday, bride and groom prepping for a wedding yesterday have very similar tastes to ours and offered up some of their stuff
reminded how pants that are too tight feel… bought pants one size smaller and i’m not quite there yet
drank my water
started my de-coffeeing cold turkey. why yes, that is my eye twitching, why do you ask
promised myself i would blog more next week now that all of the invites are in the hands of their intended recipients or ready to be delivered tomorrow.
this I have heard in the last 6 months
when they say:
her calves are too fat for shorts
look at those love handles
ugh, seriously? think we’re pulling that off?
nice hair freako
i’m so glad she’s pregnant cuz now she’s getting fat, ha ha ha
wow, baby weight still hanging around that midsection
wtf, tube top… really?
i hate my legs
i hate my body
i hate that i can’t lose more weight
i hate her, skinny bitch
nice tits, wait till she pops out a few then that will fall away
I find something in him/her that reminds me of what I hate about myself and the only way I can feel good about that is by knocking him/her down.
Somewhere along the way in the last week I have stopped caring how I look for other people and started caring about what I have got right now, what I’m working for.
I’ve stopped looking at my thighs and wondering what *other* people will think if I wear a certain pair of pants. I’ve stopped jigging my upper arm and thinking about snarky comments other might make about them and started thinking about how I can tone them up to feel physically better.
I’ve thought more and more about the opinion of myself that I project to and on other people. I have no place to judge. No one has any place to judge me.
We all have our success. We all have our failures.
Maybe it’s time to stop pointing fingers to nit pick at flaws.
Maybe it’s time to start loving ourselves more, and abuse less.
feeling like i need to binge, like nothing can fill in this craving (not hungry) for food
drinking a lot of water in response to ‘need’
long bike ride with MoH last night, uphill half of the time, one stop midway to do some core workout
eating on track, looking forward to doing my 10-day fresh fruit/veggies/vegan protein clean on the 27th, definitely needed to get past this funk. toss aside the last of winter.
getting the last of the invites in the mail (and praying they make it to their destination), worked out the shuttle service to and from the hotel for guests of the wedding… no risk of someone enjoying a little too much wine and driving under the influence
heading out to see my grandmother saturday, have to bring my scanner and a laptop to go through old photos and put them on to her digital picture frame for her
girls just keep getting taller, lots of realizations this week about having a nine year old, lots of talk with MoH (who’s daughter is 2 months younger than oldest H, they’ve been friends since birth – literally – H was there the day she was born) about how to deal with teenage dream teen drama… thankfully we’ll be in that parenting boat together
tired this morning, but I’m down to one daycare kid during the day which means I can get plenty off of my checklist before summer starts, more kids then, will be busy every day