It’s my birthday


On my birthday I will not

start another year weighing more than 225 lbs
be going anywhere
commiserate the loss of ‘another year’
look for new gray hairs or wrinkles
let my children steal the remote control from me to watch their cartoons
see the sun (I’m not happy about this, but even birthday girls cannot control the weather)
spend more than 10 minutes at a time without a smile on my face
forget to call my friend Sarah, we share today for celebration
lie about my age (which is 33)
log in to facebook for my birthday wishes (I’m on a 30 day facebook break)
wear pants that do not fit (thank you birthday gift card)

On my birthday I will

get extra hugs from my children
likely wait until midday for B to remember it’s the 7th
do a lot of laundry
finish unpacking the dining room
paint my kitchen
receive many phone calls
take it easy on my left calf (which is sore because I wore flipflops for a long walk and that was dumb)
remember my last birthday with my grandfather
recover from the sushi hangover I have from last night
remember to take my fibre, calcium and folic acid (because that’s what ‘a woman my age’ needs to do)
work on my Physics course work
help my daughter clean up her room
take a bunch of stuff to the goodwill (though I will need a lift)
realize that this is the year I was supposed to renew my license and thus, will not drive myself anywhere
not get sicker, but I also forgot to renew my health insurance ID card
enjoy the first birthday that I am no longer married to the ex
look forward to my next birthday when I will be married to B
give myself a pedicure
pray for sunshine so my laundry can dry in the light
dream a little about our Disney vacation
figure out how to work this silly book on my mp3 player so I can listen to it while I paint
remember a little that it has been almost 6 solid years since I left abuse (5 days until that reminder)

It’s going to be a long, but good day.
If it’s your birthday too… I’ll think of you

On my next birthday I will

weigh less than 190lbs (unless I have a pregnancy to celebrate)
be married
have just finished my first semester at University or be preparing to start my first summer term
be crazy about having a child turning 10… this will likely be something I cry a little over
have moved past all of this custody and access stuff
be physically stronger


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